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Harde tante

Posted on March 1, 2016 at 2:17 PM

Een tijd geleden deed ik een cultuuronderzoek op een fantastische afdeling van de politie. Dat wil zeggen: ik vond het fantastisch werk en prachtige mensen, maar qua cultuur bleek er ruimte voor verbetering. De interviews werden bij mij thuis gepland aan de coachtafel; tenslotte hebben de muren oren in een politiebureau.
 
Een man in het bijzonder is me sterk bijgebleven. Hij had er al heel wat dienstjaren op zitten, maar door de verschuivende grenzen van de pensioengerechtigde leeftijd moest hij telkens weer flink ademhalen en doorgaan. Ik ontving hem aan de ronde tafel en vroeg of hij thee of koffie wilde. Zonder hierop in te gaan begon hij zijn verhaal te doen. Ik stond eerst nog bedremmeld in de keuken, maar streek na verloop van tijd ook neer aan tafel.
 
Wat deze man had meegemaakt in zijn loopbaan waar hij met zoveel passie en inzet aan was begonnen! Er passeerde een keur aan incidenten waarin schokkende gebeurtenissen en het diep menselijk leed dat daarop volgde hem duidelijk niet onberoerd hadden gelaten. Op een gegeven moment moest hij wel terugtrekken naar de backoffice, na de diagnose posttraumatische stress stoornis. Ik werk graag met mensen met een PTSS en knikte hem nog eens bemoedigend toe. Waarop hij mij verweet: ‘jij ook met al je vragen! Ik was helemaal niet van plan dit allemaal te vertellen!’ Verbouwereerd zei ik: ‘maar ik vroeg alleen maar of je koffie of thee wilde’. ‘Koffie dan!’ zei hij en ik ging, na zijn toestemming gevraagd te hebben over op de vragen van het interview.
 

Aan het einde van het gesprek vroeg ik hem hoe hij het gesprek ervaren had. Hij keek me diep in de ogen en zei ‘je bent een harde tante, je schakelde zo over naar het interview en je hebt gehaald wat je wilde hebben’. In de dagen daarna heb ik daar nog vaak over nagedacht, want hij zette licht op mijn gedrag. Ik had wel invoelend geluisterd, maar dat kon mijn professionele hang naar een volwaardig interview niet wegnemen. Ik wilde er voor hem zijn,  maar was ditmaal toch meer onderzoeker dan coach. Conform de opdracht en toch... 
Hoe doen leidinggevenden van medewerkers met een PTSS dat? Hoe combineren zij de rol van coachen met leiding geven? En hoe komt dat op deze medewerkers over? 
Deze ‘harde tante’ had er wel een tijdje voor nodig om weer uit de rolverwarring te stappen.


Categories: onderzoek, ptss, rol

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